My Motivation for Writing
What made me decide to compose a book about my soccer coaching experiences? Well … I coached my kids' teams for a combined total of sixteen years. That’s a significant portion of my life. I never kept a diary, but some events were important enough to me that I wrote them down over the years. I have always wanted to compile my thoughts because they tell a story my children would enjoy and from which others could learn. What held me back until recently were the activities of my life. As a working parent, I helped my children navigate the challenges of school, athletics, homework, and other daily activities before and after I went to work. I didn’t have time or motivation to write until some of those things ran their courses. Fortunately, the years have been good to my brain—I remember enough to tell the story accurately, and my recent retirement affords me time to write.
But there is more to the story.
Sometimes, in life, it seems like the universe speaks to you. Things happen that could be a random coincidence or God encouraging you to do something. There is a scene in the movie Bruce Almighty where the main character suffers a spiritual crisis and searches for direction in his life. As he drives on a dark, rainy night, odd things happen that seem to be sending him messages: caution signs flash yellow; stop signs lean in; road closure warnings tell him to turn back. I had a day like that when contemplating writing a book about my experiences as a rec soccer coach, except the messages I received were positive.
The events happened on a typical workday morning. I had spent a few days thinking hard about committing to the writing process when I received a 1, 2, 1 combination of soccer punches that encouraged me to stop thinking and start acting.
As Judy and I went through our morning routines, Good Morning America buzzed in the background. An advertisement for professional soccer appeared during a commercial break. That was unusual and caught my attention. Soccer commercials are rare on the show. Then, GMA featured a spot with actor Ryan Reynolds, whose investment in a semipro soccer team was paying off. Those two events seemed an odd coincidence, but I wasn’t convinced because they were probably the result of a savvy advertising strategy. However, a third event occurred almost simultaneously: Judy's niece texted that her five-year-old daughter had signed up to play soccer, and her husband was coaching the team. It was atypical for Judy’s niece to share updates early on a work day, and I couldn’t help but ask myself, What were the chances that those three events happened in the same 5 minutes while I contemplated writing about my soccer adventure? Was the universe speaking to me, or was it a case of confirmation bias where my brain connected unrelated events because of my preoccupation? There was no way to know the answer, but those events tipped the scales in favor of investing the time to write a book.
I don’t know what the outcome will be. I would love for it to be a memoir about the soccer activities I shared with my children, but there is a long way to go—I can see a glimmer at the end of a book-writing tunnel, but it is dim, and much work remains. In addition, publicly sharing my thoughts and feelings about our family and their personal experiences terrifies me—almost to the point of surrender. But I push on because those familiar with what I have written tell me it offers a different perspective.
My connection to the literary world is small, very small. I know only two people, and neither has time for handholding or has published a memoir about life experiences. They do what they can to help. They tell me that books by unknown authors are almost universally poor money-makers, so I have shelved my dreams of writing a best seller. My story is not about a college athlete turned pro or an Olympic star who scored a winning goal in the 89th minute. I’m settling for relating my experience as an average soccer parent because millions of moms and dads like me must navigate a soccer ordeal with their children but lack the knowledge I accumulated over sixteen years.
When I started coaching, I was ignorant about everything related to soccer. When I finished, I was a confident, knowledgeable coach, comfortable in my philosophy to make soccer fun and competitive while emphasizing mentoring over playing to win. Intuition and experience guided my approach—hindsight shows it was sound. I learned that coaching recreational sports is about much more than teaching a game. It’s also an opportunity to help children overcome weaknesses, learn to win with grace, and cope effectively with losing while managing the influence of adults. Attaining that perspective was not easy, but it was a rewarding endeavor that will influence my family and me for the rest of our lives. That story is worth sharing.
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